The Ups and Downs of Life: My Birthday, Rejection, and Reflection
Hello beautiful people!! It has been a crazy two weeks full of ups and downs, but the yin and the yang are exactly what life is about.
My birthday weekend was last weekend and it was so fabulous. I celebrated for 3 days straight, obviously and it was the best. On Thursday I got the best burgers ever from Al’s Burgers (if you are in Chapel Hill you absolutely need them in your life) with my roomie and we got ready to go out. Another one of my friends came to hang and we didn’t even end up going out. No one was out so we decided to stay in which was still a great time.
I woke up Friday morning ready for the best day ever and it got even better when Bella, my best friend from home, came to surprise me. We caught up and then I had to take her to one of my classes which was actually so much fun. I then took her for a walk around campus. We went to the stadium and all around and continued to catch up. By then it was already time to head back to my apartment and start getting ready for the night. We had dinner reservations at Tandem which is in Carrboro which is around 10 minutes away by walking. I had all of my roommates and closest friends put on sundresses and we took pictures before heading to dinner. I went all out at dinner and had steak and lamb with my friend. It was so delicious and I will definitely be back. I had the best time catching up with everyone and just being around some of my favorite people. We headed back to the apartment and threw a little party.
The next morning was the big day! Not just my birthday, but also game day. I woke up and started making brunch. We had chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, eggs, fruit, etc. I forgot how much fun making and eating brunch is. I always think to go to brunch, but I never think about making it and I’m so glad we did. Who wouldn’t love staying in your pajamas, cooking with your friends, and blasting music? Brunch turned to getting ready which turned to tailgates. I just sincerely love college game days. The school spirit, outfits, vibes, going out. It’s the best. The game was at around 3:30 so tailgates started at around 12. After the tailgates, Bella and I went to the bar to get food, drink, and watch the game. Nothing hits harder than the post tailgating nap. We finished up at the bar and went home to put on our cozy clothes and sleep until it was time to get up and rally. The night was young and it was time to go out to the bars again.
After 3 nights of partying I was feeling fulfilled and ready to get back to my schedule. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as easy as I had hoped because after throwing my body for a loop for 3 days, my stomach was unwell. This whole past week my stomach was in pain and all I wanted was to feel good and get back to routine. I ate healthy, drank water, moved my body, had supplements, but nothing was working. Patience has never been my strong suit so I was getting stressed and anxious. After a full week of trying to regulate and normalize my stomach, I’m finally feeling better. Today, I’m mainly focusing on eating easily digestible foods like yogurt and soup while also trying to get protein in to keep me full.
Feeling stressed and gross was exacerbated by my work load. I had a quiz every day of the week in every class. I had new tutoring clients I was taking on, and I was rushing a business fraternity. To make all of that better, I of course had to get my period. Now I’m tired, emotional, drained, and my stomach hurts… what a great combo. I didn’t let that get the better of me though. I worked out as my body allowed and tried to get back into the swing of things. I studied just like I normally do and took things one step at a time. While having new clients can be stressful, it is also super fun and rewarding. I focused on the positives and granted myself grace throughout the tough week. The emotional rollercoaster that was this week reached its low point on Thursday. I woke up exhausted and feeling pain. I then learned I didn’t make it in to the business frat. While this frat is extremely competitive, I was still very much hoping I would get a spot. However, I did learn a lot throughout the process and as I reflected I think I learned more by not getting the spot then I would have if I did get the spot.
I learned to not seek external validation and let that affect me, but rather use internal validation to dictate my actions and emotions. I know that everything happens for a reason and I also know that I thought I did an incredible job. Just because they didn’t think that I would be the right fit does not mean that I didn’t do an outstanding job. If I did it over again, I am proud to say I would answer the exact same way and repeat everything I did. I truly do think it worked out for the best because I’m not sure I would have gained much by being apart of it. Business fraternities are to help with professional development, confidence, and connections. My internship this past summer helped with my professional development, I have worked personally a lot on my confidence and can say that I truly felt like I was the most confident in the room, and I know I can develop my own connections through UNC, myself, and my community. This rejection has already helped me view things differently and take advantage of other opportunities that I am not as well-versed in.
Obviously no rejection is fun, but I think rejection can have so many different meanings and provide so many different alternative pathways. It could mean that you need to put more effort in and grow more or it could mean that you may not benefit from what they have to offer. You may not be the person they are looking for, but that could be for tons of reasons.
Although it may not feel like it at the time, rejection is a good thing. Rejection brings you closer to the real prize that you have been waiting for. Every process, interview, class, experience helps you realize who you are, what you value, and what you need to learn. If you take everything as a time to learn, you can reflect and take action instead of being frozen.
You are allowed to feel the feels. It is good, actually, to feel your emotions and allow them to guide you through your current path. However, don’t let the sadness make you spiral or doubt your worth. You are amazing. You are not behind on your own journey.