The Intentionality of Happiness

Recently I was in a funk. The funk isn’t what is important though. What is important is that I reflected, realized how I was feeling, and took the steps to change it. As you all saw, I created the “Era of Us” to get myself and others motivated and excited about life. As I have been focused on my “Era of Ella” I have been questioning why I was feeling so unlike me and what is truly important to me in this life. 

I realized I wasn’t feeling like myself because I was consumed by a pool of worry. Anything I could be worried about, I did worry about. Happiness is in the here and now, so I was blocking myself from the ability to be happy. I found myself drifting from contentment and instead towards the constant need for more. I could not be satisfied. I had to be doing something, yet whenever I did something it wasn’t “enough” in my mind. 

I shifted my focus from my to-do list and academic validation to happiness. Happiness has always been the center of my life in which everything flows in and out of. This is what I had lost. 

Sometimes it’s easy to be happy and content, especially when everything is going the way you want it to. What about when life isn’t going how you had planned? Regardless of what we think or want, life happens which means that a lot of the time, things will not go our way. You know when you just can’t seem to catch a break? When everything seems to be going wrong. That is how I felt. It’s ok to feel this way, but as I reflected, I knew I had some control. We cannot just think that the world is against us. We have to do everything in our power to be resilient and keep going.

Although we may not have control over our situation, we do have control over where we put our energy. Where energy goes, energy flows. Your life is led by what you put emphasis on. Think of how incredible this is. In a time where life feels upside down and uncontrollable, there is a piece that you can control. Instead of putting your energy towards worry, put your energy towards happiness. Worrying uses up so much energy, think of how much your mood could change if you took your energy and switched the channel in which you put it. There are simple things you can do to make you happy. It is all about putting intention into your happiness and making it a priority. You have to make the decision that you will focus on your happiness and takes the steps necessary to get there. 

I know I’ve said this a million times and you have probably heard others say it a million times, but even just putting a smile on your face can brighten your mood. I really do not a difference when I stop, smile, and focus on the good. Don’t just smile once in your day, make a constant effort to keep smiling. 

Notice the little things. Stop looking down at your phone and look around. In Chapel Hill the leaves are falling and changing and it is gorgeous! In Florida, the weather is perfect, the sun is shining, and the wind is blowing. We are so lucky to be here right now, let’s enjoy that for what it is. 

If you can’t seem to get excited about life, spice it up! It is the fall season so grab a pumpkin spice latte, light a pumpkin candle, go to a pumpkin patch, do something festive. 

I recently interviewed my grandfather on happiness through the years for a project. I found my findings to be quite intriguing and helpful and I thought I would share some of them. He talked about the fact that when he was younger he found happiness through material things and the outside world which made it increasingly challenging to find and maintain happiness. He said he was constantly looking for more and for ways to conquer the world to then be successful in the hopes that this would make him happy (I think we can all relate to this). As he got older, he realized what was truly important in life is the smaller joys and that looking for happiness on the inside will lead to fulfillment. One anecdote he shared was when he couldn’t stop worrying, a friend asked him “have you ever really worried about something that didn’t turn out?” His answer was no, not really. 

Everything ends up working out even if it is a struggle to get there. Our worries ruin the moment we are in. Take things one step at a time and try to reinvigorate yourself. As I was getting stressed about school and assignments I took a step back. I am paying for this education to advance my knowledge of the world. Instead of being worried about everything I have to do, I decided to get excited about what I would learn. I know that I always get everything done, and that isn’t going to change now. 

I recently went back home to Florida for a memorial service. At this point, I was so stressed and anxious about school. I felt like my world was ending and it was all I could focus on. When I attended the memorial activities with my extended family, I realized that while my worries are valid, they really aren’t important. I am here, on this Earth surrounded by loved ones and that was all that mattered. In a capitalist workaholic society, let’s make sure we step back and focus on what matters most to us. For me, it is happiness and family/friends. I love to work, but work isn’t this most important thing and it isn’t why we are here. 

Focus on what makes you happy, not what others are doing. This is your life, not theirs.