Self Love
Happy Sunday everyone! This weeks blog post is going to be about self love. I want to discuss what self love is, its importance, and what you can do for yourself.
The impetus for this post was when I was feeling low on Tuesday. There was no particular reason, I just wasn’t feeling myself and that’s ok. You don’t have to be happy all the time, you don’t have to be obsessed with who you are all the time. However, you should never speak negatively to yourself. I constantly have to remind myself to only say things to myself that I would say to others. You are a person with fragile feelings and you deserved to be treated just as you would treat others. You can be honest with yourself without being mean. It is good to be hard on yourself, it means you care about the person you want to become, but you also need to be understanding. Self love can mean just simply listening to yourself and knowing when to stop or keep going.
Part of self love is acknowledging your feelings. It’s ok if they aren’t happy, don’t dismiss them. Even if you don’t know why you feel a certain way, learn to accept it because it is your bodies way of talking. For example, when I wasn’t feeling cheerful on Tuesday, I found out it was because I was over tired and needed to take a nap and a break from working out. It is so so hard for me to give into the rest, but this is part of self love. Pushing through when you really need a break is not a good thing. This leads to burnout and exhaustion. If you are like me and have a hard time relaxing because of internal pressures, remind yourself that you grow when you get out of your comfort zone. Staying in comfort teaches you nothing and does not inspire growth. For me, getting out of my comfort zone can sometimes mean relaxing (I know that sounds crazy).
On the other hand, self love could also mean pushing out of your comfort zone in the other way. Meaning, getting up and doing something you know will be good for you, but you may not want to do. For example, leaving the couch and surrounding yourself with friends that will uplift you.
There is no shortcut to self-love, it is not linear, and it is never-ending. Everyone battles with self-love day to day, minute to minute.
In my opinion, the most important characteristic of self love is continuously putting in effort to love and support yourself. I know I say it a lot, but tell yourself you love you. Say that you are proud of yourself. Yell that you are enough. Shout that everything will be ok. Comfort yourself even when the statements don’t feel true. The more you say them, the more you start to believe them, and the more positive your life turns out to be. Feed your mind with positivity about yourself. Romanticize yourself. Point out all of your favorite characteristics and highlight them.
Relax your shoulders, eyes, fingers, toes, everything. Breathe. Think about your favorite thing or things about you.
Make you your favorite person. Not in a conceited, narcissistic way, but in a confident self-love way. Know that you aren’t perfect, know your weaknesses, but be ok with them. Know that everyone struggles somewhere.
Self-love is everything because if you don’t love yourself, how are you supposed to enjoy this beautiful life? Make yourself the main character of your story. Personally, I believe that the secret to a happy life is self-love. Some many things stem from loving yourself: energy, confidence, excitement, etc.
When you love yourself, your path is clearer, you cultivate better relationships, you know yourself better. You can’t love anyone else if you don’t love yourself first.
Acts of self-love:
Self-love doesn’t need to mean expensive or time consuming. You can do small things every day to show love for yourself.
Wake up and smile. This sounds so cheesy, but it actually works. “When our smiling muscles contract, they fire a signal back to the brain, stimulating our reward system, and further increasing our level of happy hormones, or endorphins.” Try to remind yourself to smile more throughout the day. I notice that this makes the day better, and gives me even a second to be in the present and relax.
Positive affirmations. You guys know how much I love positive affirmations. All day, everyday. In your head, out loud. Whatever you need, say it to yourself.
Be you. I can’t emphasize this enough. Don’t change yourself for anyone or anything. Embrace your authentic self and learn to love it. You don’t have to love it right away, but don’t try to be someone you are not. I was always nervous about being different than the “typically teenager,” but I was not put on this earth to be an exact replica of someone else. We each have unique things to share with the world, and this planet needs your light to fill the world in its own special way.
Reserve even a minute of your day to get your thoughts together. Every day is crazy for everyone in different ways. It is important to slow down, think, get yourself together, and keep going. Even if you have a million things on your to-do list, I promise you have time for this. In fact, I believe that taking a minute to collect your thoughts can increase your productivity. This is because when we keep getting things thrown our way, we start spending time worrying and freaking out. If you sit and think about what you have to do, then you can go forth and get it done.
Have a nutrient filled meal. Eat something with protein, carbs, fiber, fats, fruit, vegetables, etc. Fill your body with love from fresh food.
Eat what sounds good. I know this is very different from the statement above, but sometimes the best form of self-love is eating whatever you want. Honestly, when I’m sad I want a ton of Mexican food. Tacos, chips, salsa, guacamole, everything. Acknowledge that you are eating for your emotions and that’s ok. You don’t want to make this an everyday occurrence, but sometimes comfort food is the way to go.
Jam out to your fav songs. Hype yourself up. I almost always get into the car on the way to and from school and put on a great song, turn it upppp, and sing along. I don’t care how I look in the car, and you shouldn’t either. It’s so fun!
Surround yourself with positive vibes and people. I make sure that everyday I spend time with my family because they are my everything. Many days i’ll have a little “therapy” sesh with my mom where I tell her everything that’s on my mind and she helps me through it. I spend time with my besties most days and we help each other through everything and anything. We can’t always expect ourselves to deal with everything alone. Cutting out negative people is an act of self-love that is hard to do, but in the end so amazing.
Alone time. Know when you need to be alone, and go do it. I am lucky to have a family that is very understanding of this and we all know that each of us needs time alone, however I do know that many families aren’t as understanding. In this case, I think communication is important. Tell your family that you need “x” amount of time alone. After that time, you can spend some time with them.
Say “no.” You can’t do it all and you shouldn’t feel bad about that. You are doing your very best and that is all you can do. Even if you do have time to do something, it doesn’t always mean that you should. There doesn’t need to be a reason or justification for saying “no.”
Journal. I don’t journal everyday and I don’t have a specific day or time to journal. While planning time to journal helps some people, it doesn’t work for me. I have learned to sense when I should take a minute to journal. This way, journaling is a much more relaxing, stress-releasing process instead of feeling forced to come up with thoughts. For example, one day in the middle of a class where we weren’t doing anything, I felt overwhelmed and realized I needed to sort out my thoughts on paper. So, that is what I did. I like to type journals in my notes app because it feels easy. I listen to a chill playlist and type away. This is an act of self-love because it keeps me from going crazy and feeling anxious and stressed.
Wearing an outfit that makes you feel confident. It could be dressing up or down or whatever you want. Somedays I love to put on a cute matching set and strut into school like I own the place. Other days I like to wear my biker shorts that make me feel invincible. Find a piece of clothing you like and wear it. Even if is just in your house.
Communicate. Don’t expect people to read your mind. You are more likely to get the things you want when you communicate them.