Amazing Second Semester + Homesickness in College
Happy blog day beautifuls! Second semester has been amazing. I have gotten so close with my suite mates, I know where everything on campus is, I feel comfortable and at home, and I love my schedule. I have learned from last semester and tried to take that knowledge into this semester. I majorly overloaded myself last semester and didn’t give myself enough time to enjoy life and find solace in the quiet times. I am learning to love both activity and stillness. Stillness creates space for good things to happen and our hard work to shine. We don’t always have to have a plan or an idea of where we are going not only in life, but in our day to day. Life will happen and we will accept it as it comes. We can’t expect everything. Repetition can be great, but it can also make life stagnant and boring. We have to take a leap even when we don’t feel ready. My leap was slowing down and allowing good moments to come unplanned. Everyones leaps are different. We all find challenge in different areas.
We choose our lives and how we spend our time. Ask yourself why? Why are you doing something? Is it for you? Does it bring you joy? Does it help you in the long term? Or… are you just scared of the space and the stillness. I realized I was spending so much time on things that didn’t pay off in any way. I was doing them because I was scared to be unproductive. In reality, the amount of things that could occur in that time would have been much more productive. Productivity takes on so many meanings. Not just school or work, but in our social and emotional lives as well. Productivity can mean filling up your cup in whatever way suits you best. Don’t let anyone dictate how you should live your life. Don’t live for someone else, live for you. Sometimes the space doesn’t need to be filled it can just be there.
Find your outlet and your people. We all need a way to express our emotions and understand them. Life is complicated and we can’t explore our feelings by ourselves in our brains. Write, talk, run, whatever you need to do, do it. I need a combination of everything. I find that I need to journal and blog and share my life. I need to talk with my friends and my parents. I need to workout and give myself space in this way to take a minute away from my mind and tune into my body. Journalling and talking is great, but they entail confronting your emotions and problems. This is needed, but sometimes we need to take a step away from the mind to allow for things to ruminate and give ourselves time away from our emotions and problems to figure out what we need or how we really feel.
I have found that although my classes are harder this semester, I am so much happier. I love the feeling of being challenged and I love the topics I am learning. It is showed me that when you love something, you will know. You don’t have to have it all figured out, but take note of the things you like and the things you don’t. The best thing about bad experiences, people, classes, etc. is that we learn what we don’t like for the future.
While second semester as been incredible and I already love where it is headed, I have still found myself getting homesick. I want to talk about how normal this feeling is. I don’t think homesickness in college is talked about enough or normalized enough. Each day is a rollercoaster of emotions, and many of us have lived much of our lives in the same place. I have lived in the same town in Florida for all of my life. I have been surrounded by many of the same people, experiences, even restaurants. I found my favorite places to workout, my communities, my routine. My family and I have always been close. Leaving all of that was never meant to be easy.
I get flushes of emotion and sadness that randomly ebb and flow. Something fun or crazy or sad will happen and I will miss home. I will want to be back in my yoga studio or boxing gym. This is normal. Missing it, being sad, just shows that you created such a beautiful life. Now, your goal is to do the same in your new town or environment. Make it fun. Figure out what you like, what you want and need, and seek it out. It took you years to make your home, home so don’t rush the process. Your new environment may not feel warm and cozy right away. Get curious! Make it an adventure. Finding ways to make your new space home will help you understand yourself.
I have found safety in my friends, my new yoga studio I teach at, my cute and comfortable room, my early morning workouts. My suite mates and I have been doing homework in my room together and watching nightly shows. I have been focusing on filling my time, yet creating space and being with friends. Time around other people makes me feel loved, seen, and happy.
It has been important for me to incorporate pieces of my life at home here in college. I call my parents everyday. Sometimes FaceTiming is better and makes me feel more connected. I just started to FaceTime my parents after they eat dinner and are still at the dinner table and this has brought me so much joy. Feeling semblances of home life has made homesickness much more bearable. I keep in contact with my friends and yoga teachers from home.
You are never alone in your feelings. What is important is that you take the steps to make yourself feel better. Change your perspective and you will be amazed at what you can do.