You Deserve the Most

I feel like we too often forget how much we deserve in this world and how much we are capable of. We think in a generalized way, but when it comes down to it, we don’t apply what we know to life itself. 

You deserve the most from yourself, others, and life. Life doesn’t always play out the way we want it to, but that doesn’t mean it is working against us. Actually, it is showing us our power and our resilience. Make the most of every situation you are handed and do it with as much grace as you can. 

You:

In terms of yourself, I’m talking about not only self-love, but showing up for yourself and doing what you know is best for you. This means living your life authentically and the way you want. It means being real and honest with yourself even when you don’t want to. It means refilling your cup and not comparing your needs to the needs of others. Be there for you. Seek help and take advantage of the endless possibilities that are offered. Take chances. Fail and fail again, but don’t let it define you. 

Be kind to yourself. Focus on effort over outcome. Believe in yourself. I know it sounds cheesy and that’s ok. I have come to learn that most cheesy sayings are cheesy and overused for a reason. It’s because they hold the key, the secret to a meaningful and happy life. 

Know that you are more than one slip up. You choose how you define yourself. This is your life so take control of it. Soak up every ounce of this life. That means trying things even when they scare you to death. Bravery doesn’t mean you aren’t scared. Bravery means you do it anyway. 

We control how we define ourselves and how we define our lives. Put effort into the things you most want to define your life. You make time for what is important. What is important one day doesn’t have to be important the next. 

The journey of life changes day to day, minute to minute. Let it. Let our purpose, goals, feelings change as the world changes. I think of this in terms of my transition from high school to college. During senior year I had a great thing going. I would grind each day at school, come home and go to work/workout, I would spend time with my yoga community and family, I would have time to relax and rejuvenate. That was wonderful, but what I have now is also wonderful just in a different way. There will always be positives and negatives. Now, I have more school work and less time, I’m still on my workout grind but I don’t have two workouts a day (lol), I walk a lot, I have amazing friends who I hangout with all the time, I am in a sorority, etc. Sometimes we have to give up one thing to gain something else. New experiences are new chances to learn and grow. Don’t let staying in one place, being the same be your goal. I may have had to give up my strict work/workout schedule, but that has given me so much. I have learned to go with the flow and adapt, I have given more energy to my social life, I experience life with food more often than I did before. No life is “perfect.” Embrace the stage you are in now.

Reflect and learn from everyone and everything around you. Listen. Many of us, including myself, talk and talk, but can you listen even in the face of silence. Allow for empty space. Quiet doesn’t stop the flow, rather it gives time to grow, prosper, and ruminate. 

Others:

I want to talk about relationships. I think many of us don’t understand what a true relationship/friendship should look like, I know I sure didn’t. Everyone is different and everyone wants different things, but here is what I have learned.

Relationships should be adding to your life, not taking away. You should feel happy and not like you have to walk on egg shells. Relationships are not happy all the time. Usually they include fights. Fights are normal. Fights mean that you care. If your relationship is defined by strife, then it’s time to reevaluate. 

Those around you should want the best for you. They should be your cheerleaders, lifting you up and helping you with whatever you may need. You should be treating one another with the respect you deserve. You shouldn’t control one another. You do you boo, but sometimes you doing you has consequences that you have to be aware of. 

Sometimes we have different types of friendships. Some friends are “fun” friends, some are “listening” friends. Friendships don’t have to check all the boxes, but at the end of the day, they need to fulfill the purpose you want them to be fulfilling. 

When I think about relationships I think about love. Do I feel loved? I think about trust and honest. I think about happiness and silliness. What do you look for? Do you feel happy after being with this person? How you feel after spending time with someone is a large reflection on who that person is and how they impact you. 

It is hard to sum-up what relationships and friendships mean to me, but I want you all to open your eyes. I don’t want this to sound harsh, I just want it to sound real. As soon as you figure out what you want and take the steps to get there, you will be infinitely happier. It may take time, it may take tears, but it will be worth it. 

Remember… you deserve the most from others. Are you getting the most? 

Life:

I began to mention this in the “you” section, but I want to add on. Make use of this life. Have fun, get out there. 

My mom always says, “life is too short to make it suck.” Some things we can control, and if we can control them, don’t make them suck. Add to your life, don’t subtract. We have 24 hours in a day. 24 hours is plenty of time to do everything we want to do. At the same time, if we infiltrate our 24 hours with things that subtract from our life, then the 24 hours is sucked up quickly. More is not always more, a lot of times less is more. Add things that are meaningful. 

When in doubt, do it. The energy that we use to be scared is energy that could be used to try something new. Let’s be real, we are all scared. None of us have it all together. Even if it seems like someone has everything figured out, they don’t. So why not try?

For the things we have to do, how can you make it more enjoyable? Give in to it. You are going to have to do it anyways. 

For those moments when we say “why me?” just know that there is always a reason. Use your resilience and your power to fight back and stay strong. You can handle it, I promise.