Listening to Your Soul
Last week I very briefly mentioned that you need to listen to what your soul says in order to allow yourself to feel your true emotions. I wanted to touch on this further. I have noticed that it has been hard for me to know what I am really feeling. What do I want to do? I am a giver and whether you are a giver or not, I think we all tend to ask ourselves what we should do or what others would want us to do. We also tend to copy what others are doing even if we don’t really want to. I have struggled for a long time because my brain goes immediately to what I think I should do, but who made these rules? For example, when I first started my new high school in 10th grade, everyone would go to the high school football games. Everyone thought they were so much fun, but I really really did not want to go. I told myself I should go because that’s what everyone else did so I bought the ticket and made the plans to go. I was totally dreading it the whole week. When it comes to Fridays, I like to do what I like to do and let me tell you this was not what I like to do. So, I made the decision to skip the football game and instead go to yoga, eat my favorite tacos with my family, and watch a lightning hockey game. It ended up being the perfect night for me. I felt like society was forcing me to go to this game, but who is to say society should get to decide what I have to do? Break the rules that have you have been conditioned into and form a new way of life for you. As soon as I started doing what I wanted to do instead of what I thought I should do, life instantly became better.
Deep deep down, your soul knows what you want. After following along with what others are doing your whole life, it is hard to make your brain think about what you really want. I know the saying, “follow your heart,” is cheesy, but it is so accurate. Take everyone else out of your brain. Stop thinking about the outside voices and focus on the voice that matters most, yours.
I also think that sometimes I don’t want to tell myself no. I start to think that saying no is like being defeated, but this is not true. Just because you can do it, doesn’t mean that you should. More is not always better, sometimes less is more.
Many times I over plan. I schedule in way way too many things for one day or one week. I know I can do it, but I soon realize that I shouldn’t do it. Two weeks ago, my mom and I had scheduled out meals to make for almost everyday. I bought all of the ingredients and I had all of the recipes prepared. As soon as the week began, I was drowning in homework. I had no time for anything. The meals kept getting pushed back, but I decided I would make chili one day. I put it into my schedule, but more homework kept getting piled on. I felt like I was racing against the clock to squeeze everything in. I was about to make the chili and my mom and I were talking it through. I came to the conclusion that although I really wanted to make the chili and I could fit it in if I tried super hard, cooking dinner that night was simply not in the cards. I knew that I really didn’t have time for it, but I didn’t want to let others down and I didn’t want to say no to me. Hard decisions can be the best decisions. We know what we need, but coming to terms with it can be challenging.
As we get out of this conditioned state, we need to stop looking to others for reassurance. I find that I always look to my parents because they know me so well, but I need to be able to express my own emotions and know myself enough to say what I feel.
Of course we have assignments and events that we may not want to go to or do, but we know we have to. Our soul will still tell us what is right. Part of us will say that we don’t want to and therefore we shouldn’t, but if you truly look inward you will know what you need to do.