The Beauty of Evolving

This week I have been trying to figure out what to write about. I was scrolling through a few ideas I had previously written about and none of them were calling out to me. I only pursue the ideas that excite me. Some of the concepts I had thought of months or years ago caught my eye because I do not feel the same as I did back then. For example, one of the ideas was discussing “treat yourself days.” I was headed in the right direction in that I viewed “cheat days” as a horrible term because it adds a negative connotation and you aren’t “cheating” on anything. However, now I strongly strongly believe that you should not have a specific day that you dedicate to giving yourself a “treat” or something special. I’m not saying go crazy everyday, but you need to listen to your body and what it needs. You may be the type of person who likes a sweet treat every night after dinner and there is no problem with that, you can’t put yourself in a box. Be mindful of your choices throughout the day, but restriction will lead you to other problems. Anyways, this isn’t totally the point. The point is that we are allowed to evolve, we are supposed to change over time. We are not supposed to be the same person for our entire lives. Just as our hair or style changes, our opinions, ideas, and personality change too and that is a beautiful thing. We can be grateful for the version of ourself that we used to be, yet be excited for the new version of ourself that we are creating. Each part of us is created for a reason and a specific time in our lives. 

There is no need to try and keep every detail of yourself and the environment around you the same. In fact, doing this will only prolong the inevitable and increase the challenge and negativity associated with self-evolution. Change may be uncomfortable, but it is needed. Similarly, don’t grieve your past self. I know it can be hard when family or friends make comments such as, “you’ve changed so much” or “you are so different now.” However, be confident in your new self. As I said, we change for a reason, we change with the times and with the situation. This adaptability allows us to be flexible and match the situation we are in.

To grow we have to try new things, and to try new things we have to be ok with failing. I know this is a tough one. No one likes to fail and no one likes to be bad at something, but to get better you have to start from square one. I think that the root of this can be fear of judgement. We are afraid that someone will judge us for not be a professional at something we just started. Who cares?! Put your focus on having fun! When you put all your energy into learning, improving, and having a good time you won’t even remember why you were worried in the first place. The fear of judgement will follow you forever if you never do anything about it. You may also feel self judgement as if you are a failure. If this comes into your mind, I want you to take a step back. Breathe. Remember that you are amazing and you are putting in the work that it takes to get better. You are dedicating time to try something new and expand yourself. That is awesome! Recognize it. 

Let’s talk about unlearning and relearning. This can be similar to trying something new and could be mental, physical, emotional, etc. Retraining your brain is tough and very frustrating, but worth it. We have old habits that we want to break and new goals that we want to emulate, but it can be difficult to know where to start. When we feel overwhelmed as if there is no possible way to fix what we already know, you have to break things down piece by piece. Slowly but surely think of where you are and where you want to be and take the appropriate steps to get there. Don’t think of a marathon, think of it mile by mile minute by minute. Look at what is right in front of you. I have had to unlearn and relearn in tennis recently. As I picked up tennis again, I have been doing great and I am very proud of that, however I learned what some might say the amateur way of doing forehand and backhand, etc. Meaning that my grip was pretty basic. Toe excel to the next level it is important that I train my brain to unlearn that grip and transfer to the new way. My first lesson doing this almost made me want to cry I was so frustrated and mad. I was used to all the balls going over the net, so why weren’t they now? In the moment, my attention was not fully on learning the new form, but I was consumed by the feeling of annoyance with myself. As I have had time to reflect, I have shifted my mindset. I know think of this as exciting. How cool is it that I get to advance to the next level and work hard at a new goal. Goals are amazing and so much fun. Life would be so boring if we continued the same activities and ways of life that we always have. 

I want you to try something new or think of a goal. Maybe you need to unlearn something or find out your own ideas and opinion instead of taking on the opinions of others. Take these tips and explore yourself and the world around you. Go be excited to do something new and get one step closer at attaining your best self in this moment.