The Art of Compromise
Through this quarantine I have learned so much about compromise after having to be stuck in close quarters with my family. I also think that sitting back and observing/ reflecting upon your past or present relationships with friends, family, significant others, etc. can be beneficial. The most important factor about compromising is that you want to feel comfortable in your life. Whether it is at your house, with your friend group, or teammates you don’t want to feel like you are walking on egg shells. If we all compromise even just a little bit, we can collectively feel better as a society.
To find this feeling of peace within the world, we all need to compromise sometimes. Life is not always about doing everything you want to do. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. Compromising really is an “art” because it is about taking different life experiences into consideration, knowing how they turned out, and deciding what you want to do with the knowledge you have.
Most times compromising is an inconvenience so although it may not be the most fun or exciting thing, it may mean a lot to someone else. You have to determine if someone else’s happiness is important enough for you to compromise and do what they want. You also need to determine if what you want is important enough that you cannot compromise. My prime example of this is emptying the dishwasher without being asked. I know, I know… the dreaded dishwasher. No one loves emptying the dishwasher, at least I don’t think so, but is it something you can do to make your parents happy? I like to observe the situation and if I realize I have time then why not do this simple little task that might just be another task on my parents’ to-do list? I love to see when my compromise pays off and it makes someone else feel joy! If you compromise and help your parents, then your parents are more likely to help and support you the next time you need it. This is the same for any other person that isn’t your parents as well.
The next part of compromising is compromising your time. As we all know, time is extremely important and seems to be constantly sucked away by some vortex. Of course you want to make sure everyone is being respectful of your time and realizing that you have a busy schedule, but sometimes it is easier to do a task right as you are asked rather than waiting until later. My family always used to mock me because when they asked me to do a task I would say, “OK, I’ll do it later (layyyyy-terrrr)!” Don’t get me wrong, occasionally I am in the middle of something (or let’s be honest I just don’t feel like getting up at that moment ;)) but other times I know if I just get up, do the task, and come back, it will make things so much easier. When a parent, friend, or whoever texts you or asks you to do a task right at that moment, wait ten seconds before you respond. I know most of our natural reactions would be to push off the task for the time being. Instead, think about all of the possible situations. What it would be like if you said yes vs. saying no. How would you feel from your reaction? How would the other person feel from your reaction? After considering these things then you can respond knowing that whatever you say is exactly what you want because you have put a little bit of time into your response.
Know that there is no right or wrong answer, whatever you choose to say is the right answer if it serves you best. What I mean by this is sometimes a compromise may not serve you best for the time being, but it will make the other person happy which will in turn bring you joy as well. On the other hand, you could decide that topic or task is too important to you that you don’t want to/feel like compromising. This will also serve you best because you are making yourself happy by choosing the decision that is right for you.
One of the reasons why the art of compromising is so difficult is because you want to compromise, but not too much to the point that you are losing you own happiness. Compromise can cause mild discomfort but it should not make you completely upset. Don’t let your compromise overpower what you truly want.
Use this week to have compromise in the back of your mind. This doesn’t mean you necessarily need to compromise, but at least view it as an option. It might just earn you favorite child status!