Taking What You Need and Knowing You Are Enough
Good morning beautiful people! I know this week has been absolutely insane and has affected people in all different ways. Unfortunately, that’s life. We get thrown things and we have to deal with them. Focus on how to deal with it, what you need, and what you can control. This blog post is going to be a culmination of a bunch of things I have been dealing with this week to hopefully show you that you aren’t alone and there are good ways to cope.
When going through something hard or wishing you were somewhere else, I try to put gratitude and contentment at the forefront of my mind. Think of all of the incredible things, people, experiences you do have. For instance, with so much hate and polarization, I wanted to post on Instagram to remind everyone that most of all we have love. What you focus on directly dictates where your energy goes. Choose to focus on love and kindness. Nothing will ever change in this world if we think about all of our differences. Let’s use our similarities to bring us together, and use our differences to teach us new perspectives. We are so fortunate to have a wide array of people and perspectives in this world, but we take advantage of that. Listen and learn. You are not better or worse than anyone and you do not know any more or less. We are equals and that is beautiful. You are allowed to be angry and sad. Use that pent up energy to inspire you to make change. Be the change that you hope to see.
We are human, we make mistakes. Ownership, reflection, and action can follow if we don’t fall into the selfish, unrelenting part of human nature. The only way to come together and create a world with more love and less hate is to try to understand and communicate. Still remember you can only control yourself, but if you start to come into the energy that you aren’t always right and you have much to learn, maybe others will follow. Be careful of your tone of voice. No one wants to have a conversation with someone who seems like they think they are superior. We cannot progress that way. Not everything needs to turn into an argument. Listen. Ask questions. Have an open conversation. I hate that we are so polarized, and I think most people hate that too. Animosity doesn’t do anyone any good. Educate yourself.
Remind yourself of all of your accomplishments. At some point not too long ago, you may have been wishing you were right where you are now. So, embrace this moment. I have been super tired because I am on my period and I have this weird ear problem (lol) and I haven’t wanted to do anything. I have been so unmotivated, but then I remember that I am so lucky to be able to study at such an esteemed university. It is fall… at UNC Chapel Hill… something I had always dreamed of; walking around, headed to class, with the leaves falling all around me, and now this is my life. How freaking cool is that? I think it is important to remind yourself of accomplishments even from years ago that still make you smile. You worked for that and you deserve every accolade that came with it.
I think we can all relate to the feeling of not being enough. It is something I struggle with on a daily basis. In one way or another it feels like I am always looking for some piece of me to be or do better. I didn’t get a good enough grade, I didn’t accomplish enough today, I ate too much, I don’t like the way I look, etc. We are our own worst enemy, but how do we change that? Instead of constantly looking for what you don’t like or didn’t do, challenge your brain with something you do like or did do. Write a list or think about everything you have done and how much you are killing it, and/or what you do like about yourself. We are each incredible, and we are learning. When guilt or hate sets in, I send myself love and a reminder that I am learning. Learning comes with ups and downs, with failures. As I’ve said before, sometimes we don’t learn the first or the 8th time. We learn at our own pace, grant yourself grace, you are doing your best and that is more than enough.
Do what you know you need. Surround yourself with people that uplift you and make you feel good about yourself. Sometimes the people who normally uplift us are causing the problem. That’s ok, take space. It is ok to love someone, yet take space from them. We don’t have time or energy to deal with people who don’t make us feel good. If you feel excluded, leave. Take your power back. Find other people to hangout with or do something or yourself. It isn’t worth the gut-wrenching feeling of being purposeful left out. Know your worth, and know that if others are purposefully making you feel bad, it is not a reflection of you, but a reflection of them. As we discussed above, we are our own worst enemy. We sometimes tear ourselves down, and if we don’t cope in a healthy way and keep it in check, it can come out on other people. Insecurity loves to take shape in the form of hurting others. You cannot control other people, so control yourself. Take space or do whatever else you feel is right.
Do things that excite you and the right energy will come along. Last night was one of the most fun nights because my long distance bestie and I hopped on FaceTime with a glass of wine and some snacks and talked and laughed for hours. I went to a new yoga place yesterday and found new energy, new people, and a new space.
Instead of thinking of the future, make the now exciting and fabulous. While I am beyond thrilled for Thanksgiving, I only have a few weeks left in Chapel Hill before Christmas break and my study abroad and I want to make the most of it. I’m trying new yoga places, meeting new people, studying hard, and most of all just looking around and opening my eyes. Fall comes around once a year. How beautiful is it that mother nature can create such a gorgeous planet (let’s take care of her please).
You are enough don’t ever forget that. Find the people and the things that constantly remind you that you are a stunning soul. If you find yourself questioning your worth, move to something or someone else for the time being. You deserve to never question if you are enough. Go be fabulous!